December recap

There is so much I haven't blogged it is really daunting. So I just unloaded my memory cards.....oh and guess what I got for Christmas??? A 1TB external harddrive for all my backup pleasure! Wahoo!!! I will have to report on the rest later.


Dec. 3- M had a Grandpa date. She was quite nervous and wanted someone else to go with her. So she brought her doll with a new dress that I sewed for her to match M's dress. It took a little convincing and a slight bit of bribery, hence the red gloves and purse... but I knew that once she had left she would have a wonderful time. They went to the Mall and wandered, looking at things and then going to Build-A-Bear. She picked out a blue sparkly bear and a ice skating outfit for it. Then it was off to dinner at her choice of restaurant...she wanted Spaghetti. Olive Garden was close by so they went to dinner there. M reported that they had princess spaghetti just for her and a yummy Strawberry drink. She also said to Grandpa, "I was worried this wasn't going to be fun but I am having a great time." She couldn't stop talking about it to everyone and telling what a fun time she had. Thanks for making her fell so special Papa. When is the next date?



Dec. 4 Dr. Gull made a guest appearance in A's class to teach them about the ear. And teaching them to not use q-tips and wear ear plugs.



Dec. 6 Church Christmas party. The kids did a really cute nativity and I was convinced to do a duet. I am grateful there is only a picture to mark the event.
















Dec.10-14 Jemima and her Mum came for a visit.












Dec. 23- And lots and lots and lots of snow. Did I mention that it has snowed a ton. The novelty of shoveling our driveway wore off quickly as I was spending many hours a day trying to clear it...why they didn't even consider a heated driveway when it is north facing is beyond me. So we purhcased a snowblower. It makes life so much easier. Eventually when the cement needs to be replaced...heated drive way is the only thing I will consider. Here is a picture that I took with a big snow storm heading our way. I grabbed the camera and ran up to our balcony. Dark low clouds with lots of snow, if you didn't know what you were looking at it would probably look like the sun setting on mountains.












Here is a picture taken off the balcony during the fall...just the valley no mountains.




Christmas Eve and Christmas recap will have to wait for tomorrow.

Christmas Decor

They weren't able to use the whole thing for the Bo Bunny blog so I thought I would post it here. It is a December calendar and paper covered stars hung with ribbon. I have it hanging in my office.I love the Believe Bo Bunny paper line. The colors are perfect!

Tourist in my own city

Okay so I have to plead guilty to not enjoying my surrounding when I lived in Salt Lake before. It took moving 2000+ miles away and Jemima coming to town for me to enjoy some beautiful heritage. (I will steal some pictures from her camera when she comes home) We started out at the Joseph Smith Memorial building previously the Hotel Utah. Our tour guide was great she suggested we go see the Joseph Smith, Prophet of the Restoration. I am so glad she did. It was a tear jerker but so worth it to put into perspective how much the early saints and the prophet endured. The persecution and trials were on going. Then we went walked around and saw some of the beautiful nativities. Enjoyed a wonderful lunch at the Lion House Pantry Cafe I had stuffed pork, oatmeal zucchini soup (TDF) and of course there infamous rolls and honey butter. My tummy was happy! Then on to
The Beehive house for a tour. The carpentry was beautiful and the period clothing was amazing. I was appreciative of the hand made lace, we really take for granted we can buy premade lace most anywhere, including Walmart. It was wonderful to see how beautifully decorated Brigham Young's home was. After all they had endured to cross the plains to get to this valley, to finally have something nice. Then we were off to the Relief Society building This was built by $5 donations from sisters, that were encouraged to not get the money from their husbands but to find someway to earn it to give to build this building. For those sisters who were in other countries who couldn't send the money because of restrictions on mail, gave some amazing Meissin pottery and other gifts to decorate the building. It was moving to see what an amazing force for good women in our world wide Relief Society organization can do. I then had to leave their side to pick up children from school and they headed off to the Family History Library to research some of their family. It was a wonderful day! I especially appreciate Jason (Jemima's husband) for letting her come especially when today is their 15th wedding anniversary. Happy Anniversary Jason and Jemima!

Quick Catch up

okay I know I have been slacking but any extra time I have I am setting at my sewing machine instead of the computer. My friend Leigh and I have been sewing like crazy since right after Thanksgiving to get our girl's Christmas presents done. We have had so much fun. LOTS and LOTS of chocolate, caffeine and laughing. Little L has Leigh wrapped around his finger, he knows to go to her to ask for chocolate and then gives her a thumbs up, though it is more of just a fist and we were hysterically laughing about that for hours one night. Hey what better friend can I have who will still come and hang out with me even when L comes up and nuzzles his boogery nose on her shirt multiple times (luckily it is clear but still yucky).
-Thanksgiving was fun though we didn't get to everything we were supposed to that day. My mom takes us out to breakfast at Mimi's Cafe (yummy!!) and then we went to my brothers so Justin could go run with Paige. Then it was over to my Dad's where we were having dinner. It always takes a lot longer than what you think. We missed dessert at Justin's Aunt's house. We had a good time though. We played Rock Band for the first time. We had a blast. I am still partial to Guitar Hero but would love to get World Tour. We said we would get it when our basement gets finished which hopefully we will get to start at the beginning of the year.
-Black Friday shopping for me was hitting JoAnn's and Hancock Fabric. I met up with Leigh and her friend Jenn, it was fun and we have probably more projects than we can realistically get done before Christmas but we will try.
-M had a boyfriend, and told Leigh she has kissed him and she was asking the other day what breakup means? because a girl in her class broke up with two boys that day. What is it????? She has been in school for two years and this wasn't a main subject but come to Utah and the girls are BOY CRAZY!!!! OH the kicker....M's definition of "hot"- "Hot to adults can mean sexy!" HELLLOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! what is my child learning the the 3 hours she goes to kindergarten???? Not having full day kindergarten is a blessing in disguise. My baby is being exposed to the world.
-A is playing the piano and loving it. We went to a hockey game last night and he was obsessed with the goalie and thinks that they are amazing and he now wants to play hockey.
-L well he is a spit fire. He is talking so much now. I still get caught off guard when he is calling to me and I have remind myself that M is at school. The other night we were having spaghetti and he said "please noodle milk" translation- Parmesan cheese.

And the most exciting news right now is that Jemima is in an airplane on her way right now to come visit with her mom!!!!!! I only get them for a few short days but we have been planning this before I moved. I can't believe it is here. They really wanted to go to the Mormon Tabernacle Christmas program this weekend. The tickets are lottery and they didn't get any even from being from Australia and Connecticut. So we have been on a mission to find them tickets. My MIL and I asked a ton a different people on temple square what to do, pleading their case of traveling a long way. Finally talked to a nice gentleman who suggested standby I was feeling hope. Jemima had some people working on it as well. I had my MIL searching for tickets and my visiting teacher and pretty much anyone....I even embarrassed Justin at his work party when I talked about it to one of the Mormon Tabernacle orchestra members. Well one of our friends pulled through, she talked to her mom and was able to get the best seats in the house. I was so grateful when she dropped them off at my house. I have been giddy ever since. Just because I feel like it will be a special memory for them and there were many people who helped get them to this concert. Thank you, thank you!!! And especially the person who gave up their seats!!! I am so grateful.

it's beginning...

to look a lot like Christmas. Okay I know I am a few days early but I couldn't help it. Justin is oncall this whole weekend so I wanted to make sure we got everything up. I really wanted a new wreath but I am already in trouble with visiting Modern Display after being away for 5 years (Justin and I started a tradition when we first got married to go to Modern Display and pick out one really nice ornament.) So I made up for being gone. Justin said don't even tell me how much you spent, please.
I will get the tripod out and take some pics of the new ornaments later. I do have to post about my old wreath reinvented. I bought a Restoration Hardware Icy Winter wreath on clearance a few years ago. It was looking a little ragged. I also had snowflake ornaments that I made a few years ago at a Super Saturday and made a ton of them. (disclaimer: They are totally addicting and fun to make.) Then I had some glass ornaments sitting in a container...I starting wondering if I should just add some stuff to my ragged wreath. I am so please with the way it turned out and I didn't have to spend any money. Wahoo! Justin will like it just for that.

Memories

I got this from Tonya's blog and it made me laugh as I was remembering silly things we had done. So here's the rules...
1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. It's actually pretty funny to see the responses. If you leave a memory about me, I'll assume you're playing the game and I'll come to your blog and leave one about you. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments. We all have some sort of memory... SO DO IT :)

5 in the bed...

and the little one said....Roll over I'm crowded.



Oh yeah this is what it is all about. We had so much fun last night; pizza, movies, Wii, cousins and whole lot of crazy. Thanks T and Papa! We missed you Peen!

flash back

okay so I glance back and a year ago I was waiting the arrival of my sisters to Connecticut. It is amazing how much has happened over this year. It is hard to find words to describe... But it made me realize how much I love my sisters (formality of sister-in-law just doesn't fit). And the fact that my sister Sarah was over with her daughter to cut my hair, my sister Natalie called and we are going to hang this weekend and we called Paige to figure out when we can escape to St. George for a girls trip. So we have Wicked playing in the background and it makes me smile. I love that we don't have to get on an airplane to get to hang out. Though I now have a new sister(in-law) that lives in California so we will have to do something about that. I am thankful to have awesome sisters.

oh and they have also convinced me to break and read Twilight before we go to the movie...so I bought it yesterday. I have to finish The Chronicles of Narnia before I will allow myself to read it. I am pretty close to finishing. Oh and speaking of books I have been on a serious kick recently. I guess it is better than sleep for me, because I am an obsessive reader (I can't put it down until I have finished...the whole series). I read Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, the three Fablehavens, I can hardly wait for the 4th book. (You can blame it on Justin's cousin that we lived with for the month of July, she started us on it) 'A' is nearing the end of the 3rd book too. He is so in love with the books that he will sit and read any spare second he has and it is common to find him so engrossed in the book that hours have passed. Any good suggestions for what to have him read next would be great! Last school year he read all of The Spiderwick Chronicles, Magic Tree House, A to Z Mysteries, and the first Harry Potter. He will start on the second once he finishes Fablehaven. He also has read some of the Chronicles of Narnia too.

baby S

Okay this little girl is such a doll. I just love her. We met at church and it was instant LOVE for both of us. She has been my little buddy. I knew that I had to take pictures of her. The other great thing is I think her mom is the best too. I am just so sad that they are moving today to Virginia. I think it is truly unfair that I find someone I really like and they go and move. I guess it is only fair when I did that to my friends in Connecticut a few months ago. Anyway I look forward to hearing about their East coast living and maybe someday they will come back!!! Happy Trails Marci. I hope your flight goes along uneventful.

need quick ideas for Christmas gifts

So many cute and inspiring things at Bo Bunny's blog. I love them all. Here is what I did...coasters...super easy.

















What you will need is:
paper towels and a little rubbing alcohol
4 tumbled marble 4"x4" tiles found at a home improvement store
Krylon Acrylic Crystal Clear Satin Finish spray paint
16 felt circles for bottom of coasters
2 sheets of Bo Bunny Rub-Ons Pretty Flaky
1 sheet of Bo Bunny Rub-Ons Vineyard
Ribbon to tie in a bundle

Clean the top surface of the marble tile with the paper towel and alcohol to prep area. Rub the rub-ons directly to the top surface, going over the rub-on carefully to make sure it has stuck to the surface. After you have applied the rub-ons, gently spray with clear spray paint, this will help seal and protect the rub-ons and the marble. Attach felt cirlces to the four bottom corners and tie with ribbon.

after halloween sales

Okay I have to say that even at full price many of the halloween decorations this year didn't excite me. I did go to Target after Halloween and was surprised to not find much at all. I did hit Robert's at a good time for getting fake pumpkins and gourds at 75% off. Yesteryday I was at Robert's again to go back to see if they had any pumpkins left...I bought the ghost pumpkins and all the stuff that I made as a temporary center piece for now. I love washing dishes and looking at my pumpkin patch. Pumpkins make me happy and it makes Connecticut feel a little closer.
















I also used the pumpkins for the layout I did for Bo Bunny's blog too.














...they did not have any more pumpkins or gourds but they did have these adorable hanging lanterns 75% off.

They are the perfect thing for my Halloween decor. I am happy to at least add these to my collection. I think the tree that it comes on will be used for other things throughout the year so they were a great find.


*****update: Well I had left the lanterns on the kid table where I photographed them and L accidentally broke one lantern. Totally my fault for leaving within reach :(.

Halloween

My Grandpa's lives in Senior condominiums and they had a party yesterday. We had so much fun. We wound around the building trick or treating and saying hello. They had some contests and games. We met the "Lone Stranger" (aka my grandpa). There were many of the tenants dressed up. One of my favorties was a couple dressed up as a Salt and Pepper shaker. I hope when Justin and I get old that we will still have the energy to dress up for Halloween.


We tried to go to Justin's office but we were too late and everyone had already left. Bummer. Justin dressed up in is Anakin stuff and sported his lightsaber at work all day. His patients thought it was great. When we arrived home I expected the kids to want to hit the streets but instead they went to their rooms and played until it was time for dinner. Then Adam and Justin took the kids trick or treating, while Leigh and I manned the candy bowl at my house. Thanks for coming over Leigh!

The kids made a haul and we still have some of our candy leftover too. Justin is happy because it is keep awake stuff while he is studying for his boards (and he doesn't have to steal from the kids)

Please watch!!!!

Take a look at this 6 min. video. A Massachusetts family's experience shows us all what is at stake in the issue of same-sex marriage. My husband and I are preparing to give "the talk" to my 8 yr old. Why on earth would a five year old need to be introduced to these lifestyles in kindergarden???? I am amazed and maybe that isn't the correct word for it, at what is taking place in this country. What I see for the future is my rights as an individual to freedom of speech and freedom of religion being taking away. Many of the reasons my ancestors fled other countries to come here.
My MIL sent this quote to me and I thought it was interesting.

"Although I am a political liberal, I believe that conservatives have a better understanding of moral development. My research confirms the common perception that liberals are experts in thinking about issues of victimization, equality, autonomy, and the rights of individuals, particularly those of minorities and nonconformists. Conservatives, on the other hand, are experts in thinking about loyalty to the group, respect for authority and tradition, and sacredness. When one side overwhelms the other, the results are likely to be ugly. A society without liberals would be harsh and oppressive to many individuals. A society without conservatives would lose many of the social structures and constraints that ... are so valuable. ( Happiness Hypothesis , pp. 178, 242)"

--Jonathan Haidt

TrunkRTreat

Well I finally pulled off the entire family in a theme. I have tried every year and inevitably someone's costume doesn't get done. I spent the last few days sewing like a mad women to get M's and Justin's costume done. Phew.... Feeling seriously proud of myself.

















We also had our best friend from Med school in town for the day. She took her oral boards today and then we got to spend the evening with her. We LOVE you Ang! It was fun to hear what everone is up to. Those were the good ole days.


























We had so much fun. The kids didn't even eat the soups they went straight for the donuts, cupcakes and candy. In fact, Justin just went up to tell them again to GO TO BED!!! Nothing like a sugar high mid-week. Here is little Yoda thinking that donuts hanging in the sky is seriously awesome.

busy week/weekend

Well many things happened this past week. The cement on the side of the driveway was finally poured.






So the last flower bed could be finally done. Friday I took a trip to the nursery and bought TREES!! I picked up an Emperor Japanese Maple for the new flower bed and two peach trees for the backyard. I planted over a hundred bulbs, we will see what pops up in the Spring. Then we went to Justin's office and painted one of the patient rooms. Saturday morning I got up early and headed out for a couple of errands (last minute JoAnn's run to get stuff for M's costume and stuff for her friend's birthday) When I got back everyone else was awake, Justin mowed the lawn for the first time since we had the sod installed and they got busy digging holes for trees.













M had a birthday party so I was sewing an apron for her friend and had to finish that before noon. Took M to her princess party...sorry no pic..bummer. She was all dressed up in her Sleeping Beauty costume that I still haven't completely finished. After I dropped her off, quickly changed clothes and headed outside to paint our newly installed mandoor to the garage. Now instead of gleaming white it matches our dark brown gutters and garage doors. ahhhhh



















Then where to put the 2 peach trees that I bought? I knew where I wanted them in the back corner flower bed. Well the landscaper put the boulders where I told him I wanted the trees....so we planted one instead.












Then the kids got their costumes on and Dad dressed up as Shaggy. They headed off to the neighborhood Halloween party. I went back to the nursery to exchange the other peach tree and came home with this...


a weeping cherry tree. I can't wait until the spring when it blossoms.













It felt great to get all the done. Sunday we had family over for a yummy Autumny dinner. Butternut and Acorn squash soup and Cider glazed pork tenderloin....it was divine. The kids decorated spooky halloween cupcakes...









You know it was so relaxing....busy but no one was freaking out and we just had a great time as a family this weekend. It is amazing what productivity does for harmony in the home.

consider yourself BOOed!

Okay this is a fun tradition and I never even thought of how it could spread on the blog. I love to be BOOed especially with yummy treats. My kids get a kick out of door bell ditching too. Julia Sandvoss who is the head of our design team just did a fun post on the Bo Bunny blog. Go check it out Here is a little excerpt from the post with instructions.

So...how can you get BOOed? Well as much as I'd like to leave candy and treats at your door many of us are far apart, (we have readers from South Africa and Norway and China )...the
BOO will work through the Blog network.

Here's how to join us:

We'd like to ask for those that have a blog, that you add the Bo Bunny Blog to your Favorite Links. If you've already done this..that's fine too. I've been visiting your blogs and would like to see you sharing and spreading the word about our Blog.

Simply add our link to your blog links. Then pop back here and post a comment leaving a link to your blog. You have until next Thursday, October 30th at Midnight PST.

Then come Halloween, I'll visit those links to your blog...and some lucky people will receive a BOO from me! If you do...you'll receive some oh so fun Bo Bunny goodies to enjoy for a yummy way to celebrate Halloween. And maybe a bit heathier than all those Twix and Kit Kats!!LOL

full throttle

Okay the Halloween bug has finally hit me. It took some time and I wondered if it would ever come. So my sewing machine has been going long hours as I madly try to finish M's and Justin's costume (No worries, I bought the other 3). Mine was a huge disappointment, no matter how desperate I am remind me never to buy a costume for me ever....I will hate it no matter what. I really am going to look into renting. I want my costume to rock and not look like a pathetic and cheap try.
This layout I did for Bo Bunny for the Halloween layouts on the blog, was what started the excitement.



My sister had these awesome Nightmare Before Christmas(what I called them anyway), candlesticks. I commented on them when I saw them months ago. She said to me later if you want to use them go ahead I don't need them right now. I jumped on it. I told her she may never get them back though. I need a couple easles for photographying my layout. I had the candlestick on my table and thought ahh that will work. Then it was downhill from there. I got all the decorations out and went to town. I also made this little cutie too(here is the picture from the pattern I used, too lazy to grab the camera)!


I swore I would never make dolls after the hours it took me and Jemima to finish our adorable elf. I will have to post a pic of him when the Christmas decoration come out. He is soo cute but he was a bugger to put together. But this Mummy guy was so much easier and I had all the supplies pretty much on hand, (old cotton pillowcase, buttons, stuffing.) I had to buy the tea to dye it so I spent $1.50 on that. It was so much fun. I want to make a bigger version but that will have to wait.

love this book

Okay we just read (sang) this before putting the kids to bed...Take me out of the bathtub and other silly dilly songs by Alan Katz and David Catrow. Oh my goodness what a riot. New lyrics put to old songs. We had to figure out the tune using the orginal lyrics and then we would sing the new ones. So much fun! I bought it on a whim in the scholastic book club stuff and so glad I did. This is a new family fave!

Winter is in the air

brrr I can feel the canyon breeze and it is telling me winter is around the corner. I did this layout for the Bo Bunny blog Button Challenge.

Breast Cancer Awareness

A little knowledge that acts is worth infinitely more than much knowledge that is idle.
- Kahlil Gibran


Go check out the other cards at Bo Bunny. After you have checked that out and hopefully accepted the challenge to send a card to someone you know or find someone who is fighting or has overcome breast cancer, then all you need to do is click to go to the Breast Cancer Site to help give a free mammogram a day to someone who can't afford one.

okay back to work

Well Justin revived the computer with a new mother board (I was hopeful it would be a new one but not yet). We have celebrated a 2 year old's birthday at our house. He is a pro at blowing out the candle and will sing Happy Birthday to himself (as well as many HSM songs thanks to big sis).

Here is a track suit Aunt Natty gave to him. (Sorry Gnat he was dodging the camera so this will have to do.)This is in our backyard doesn't the grass look awesome! It snowed several inches Saturday night and it is freezing, they have melted away now. I wasn't ready for this. I am sitting in my warm down coat in my house with heat on. I know it is psychological but I can't seem to get warm. It has been warm soups to eat at my house. I need to go buy a bigger crock pot. Ours only makes enough for one meal. I need leftovers.

cause to mourn

On October 3, 2008 our beloved computer that has provided so much to us over the past 5+ years died. No matter how much we coaxed it or resuscitate it, it gave up the ghost. My computer has died. Hopefully I will be back up and running soon. I hate how much my life/work revolves around a functioning computer, Photoshop and internet.

my alarm this morning

Okay so I was lying in bed thinking I really should get up but my alarm had not gone off this morning. When I hear "Mom? Mommy?" long pause, "Mommy?" It is L calling me from his crib, I wish I could have recorded the adorable way he was calling for me. Now it takes a lot to get me out of bed anytime before I need to be and then usually add the snooze to that too. Well how could I resist? The reward was well worth it. When I came into his crib and picked him up, I received a huge squeeze and a "here you are!" I melted. He articulated it so well. I was in disbelief. I asked Justin if he had heard it and he said that it was very clear what he said. I brought L back to our bed and snuggled him as he was telling me all about the things he saw in my room and out the window. Can I just freeze frame right now?
If you want to see something really cute...go to Haylee's blog. She just posted a favorite from our photo session and it is mine as well. L is just too cute and I know I am not completely biased because others tell me the same thing :).
ps It is a good thing he is cute and there is such thing as Magic Eraser. The marker came off of the cabinets. Phew! I didn't quite want the territory to be marked in remembrance of this stage for years to come.

Where is my apple cider?

So instead of sipping cider through a straw I had to settle for scrapbooking a page about apple picking. So one more page for little L. Wahooo! This is also on the Bo Bunny blog too, you should go check out the awesome projects the DT made. I haven't sewn on a page for a long time, it is so much fun.

today is a good day

So as opposed to my yucky day yesterday. My sod is going in and a sneak peek of the pictures we had taken is up on Haylee's blog!!! I have wanted to hire her since my SIL Paige told me to check her out and thought I would really like what she did. OH YES I DO!!! I have been a blog stalker since. I didn't know how it was going to work out getting a shoot with her when I lived all the way across the country from her but then we moved to Utah. I wanted to book her for our family photos in the Fall. So I did!!! I can't hardly wait to see the rest! Thanks a million Haylee! We had a great time.

look what arrived at my house today

just for fun

okay so I was searching picture cds for pictures to print. I am so behind on the kids scrapbooks it truely is pathetic. (Not that I have ever felt caught up but when A has 5 huge books, M has 2 and L has 5 pages....I swore I wouldn't let that happen and I did). I have a print credit at Costco so I thought I would get a whole bunch of stuff uploaded and printed so I can get to work. Well I stumbled across this.....









It was taken when we were packing up to move. It made me chuckle because it is so silly and so L. He takes after his dad and is a cute little dork. (Can I say that about my kid?!) Anyway it brought a smile to my face and is my favorite photo for today.

Happy First Day of Fall

though it is a bit depressing....
I knew before I moved that this would be the hardest season to be away from New England. Yes I could go back and visit but it just won't ever be the same. You just don't get reds like this anywhere else. (2005)













A flash back to our first fall in New England 2003, at a real pumpkin patch. I miss the Pickin' Patch. Martha Stewart even goes there.











And teeny little M in the midst of all the drop apples at Lost Acres Orchard. I can't find all my pics but I wish I could of the peach pie I made after this visit. I salivate just thinking about it. The owner had drop peaches in a brown paper lunch sack and sold them for dirt cheap and said you want to do something with these right away. So I made a pie that was TO DIE FOR!! (2003)










And a tradition at General Conference time, the Mum Festival and our family pumpkin picture.(2005)









Apples that you couldn't even wait to pick to sink your teeth into at Lyman Orchards. The apple cider and cider donuts are hard to rival. (2007)


So please excuse me if you see me start bawling in the middle of Costco in front of the huge mums they have there or refuse the apple cider that is being served. I have been spoiled by New England and will never be the same.